Megamind: Heroine
by Eduard Kassel
Summary: Destiny can turn on a dime given the proper circumstances. Rather than Hal, cosmic power was given to a former damsel in distress. How will Roxanne handle this new role in the hero business? How will Megamind's plans to train her as his archenemy go? And will there ever be a good time to use the Space Dad disguise with a nosey reporter around? AU
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Megamind.

_Betaed by: _Zim'smostloyalservant & Trackula

* * *

_Megamind:_

"Heroine"

Chapter 1:

**THE GOOD OLD DAYS!**

"Oh come now, running and hiding? I know you're a rookie, but this is just plain sad!" Megamind's voice blared on his robosuit's loudspeakers. Roxanne glanced around her cover, a very graffiti-ridden Metro Man endorsement billboard. Megamind was two blocks away, picking up a semi as if looking for a bug under a rock.

She wasn't certain if that was a deliberate insult or the supervillain really though she might be under there. Ducking back after the suit began to rise from its crouch, she took a better look at her hiding place. Even with all his teeth blacked out save for one, Metro Man was clearly shown endorsing a vanishing cream.

The ad was about acne, which she knew for a fact the late Super had never had to deal with. But right now, she wished the powers coursing though her included convenient cloaking.

She was nervous, and ashamed of being nervous. Despite everything that had happened, this felt all wrong. Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, she stopped to stare at the red glove covering her hand.

Clenching the hand into a fist, she closed her eyes.

**X X X**

"Yes, that is me, Roxanne Richie, a heroine who is likely earning the ire of one out of five feminists, or something, by not doing as good a job as my manly predecessor. Megamind said something to that effect earlier. Yes, the bigheaded loudmouth with the giant robot for a car.

"He is also blue, I suppose, but you really stop noticing after a while I guess.

"And I have, let's say, worked with that villain for years, despite being so green I may as well be chasing Dorothy for how new I am to the heroics stuff.

"At this point, you probably feel you are missing something. That you have changed the channel and come on something interesting but the movie is already ninety minutes in and these are the days before rewinding the TV was a thing.

"Well, as I await my possible doom and/or humiliation, there's no reason I can't bring you up to speed on this tale and my role in it."

**X X X**

Well, the story of Roxanne Richie is nothing grand. Middle of three children – older sister, younger brother – full time engineer father, and a mother who went homemaker until her son was in sixth grade and then went part time in sales. A good family, and childhood.

Dull though, and I was well aware I was the dullest one, lacking the quirks of my siblings, my mother's socializing, or my father's sometimes-comical absentmindedness on anything social.

So in an admitted bid for attention, I went into drama at an early age, with some kind of hope to be an actress. That died around the time most childhood dreams do. But, still wanting some degree of recognition and exposure, I turned my attention to the news media.

I did good, but not great, and in the fullness of time managed to get an internship with the local news.

It would be around here that the Roxanne story improbably became entangled with a larger, if cliché-ridden epic. By which I mean Metro Man, defender of Metro City.

Most heroes come out of nowhere, but we all saw Metro Man coming a long way off. The son of the super rich Mann family, Michael "Mike" Mann had been a recurring feature of local interest stories with his fantastic super powers. Good looks, charisma, apparently great grades, and indisputably great hair and teeth; it was a public secret he was going to be the next Super of the city.

Somewhat less anticipated was Megamind, the blue man who was chasing me earlier. From what I gather, he and Metro Man have been butting heads since elementary school, but the news rarely covered him, and when it did, only in reference to Mike Mann. They didn't even name him in those, just describing him as a Super juvenile delinquent.

Never did find a record of his real name or what he was sent to jail for in the first place. Considering all that has happened, I should have dug deeper the moment I got caught up in it.

By the time I entered the scene, both young men had adopted their aliases and were in the midst of a zeppelin-based battle for the fate of the city. Yes, zeppelin, with spikes on it. I know he has a horde of robots to help him build, but where do you even buy the stuff to build a zeppelin?

So, a crack team of reporters was sent to cover the story, and I was sent to serve them coffee. Ah, the glamour of the business.

Long story short, when their battle came closer to the ground, the well-paid employees dropped everything and ran. And ambitious young scrapper that I was, I realized I could get a direct shot of the airship top from a nearby building's roof and had both the camera and mike.

I nearly broke my neck rushing that gear up the stairs, since a certain hero-turned-projectile had shorted the area power grid. But I made it up there and restarted the feed, acting as my own camerawoman.

I managed to introduce myself before the stupid airship, predictably, exploded. The thing about explosions is the force of impact, even if the fiery blast does not reach you, it turns out. So I took up skydiving without a parachute, but managed to hold onto the camera, perhaps hoping to record my demise for posterity.

Obviously, I did not die. Metro Man swooped in and caught me. Yes, every girl's dream. I laughed, mostly because I had gone from brave to terrified to safe in about 20 seconds. The camera from that angle just got his feet and the slowly approaching ground, but what sold me on Metro Man as a hero was the concern on his face.

I think he asked me my name, hoping to calm me down if I was in shock or something. I wasn't, but it did help, and he admonished me for endangering myself, though I was clearly a very brave reporter. Being mistaken for the profession I was aiming for got a blush from me as he let me down.

Feet on the ground again, he gave a two-fingered salute and that classic Metro Man smile to me and the crew recording the whole thing nearby. He bid me a good day by name and excused himself to pursue Megamind. And in a rush of wind, he was gone.

But with poor sound quality, my blush and his brief break in character along with an admittedly impressive visual of the rescue, it was far from over.

By the next morning's paper, I had already become "Metro Man's Girl". It was the sensation of love at first rescue and other such clichés. And finding myself on the receiving end of an interview outside my apartment did not let my denials go heeded. Everyone assumed I was sworn to secrecy or something.

But any complaining was stopped when I went to work to find a reporter job wrapped up in a bow for me. The bosses knew people would tune in to see Metro Man covered by his girlfriend. My immediate new boss calmly told me the truth did not matter and I was getting to leap years ahead in my career.

The hype probably would not last, but getting my name out and some experience would get my foot in the door. So, if I could stand being the go-to girl for all things Metro Man for a few months, my sought after career would practically fall in my lap, I concluded.

It might have worked out like that if not for one thing. A blue, bigheaded thing.

Tuesday after the next, I was on my way to catch the bus when I blacked out. Woke up with a potato sack on my head, which was removed to introduce me to the first of many, many chairs I would be tied to.

Now, in the past, Megamind had kidnapped teachers, tutors, Metro Man's mother, and other somewhat "evil plot-related" civilians. He was quite excited Metro Man finally got a girlfriend; it let him finally make with the classics.

The whole abduction-battle-rescue thing was quite odd and even exciting the first time. But they tend to leave out the fourth step, repeat. The fourth rescue, I asked Metro Man if we could talk for a bit.

He didn't seem surprised, just gave a nod and asked if a certain roof was good.

I wanted out. Good ham, bad ham, it was too much ham in my life for comfort and the only places Megamind seemed unwilling to abduct me from was my apartment and the ladies' room.

I wanted him to publicly break up with me from our fake implied romance. I didn't put it that smoothly – the word "thing" was tossed liberally about that roof by one unhappy reporter

Sitting down on the roof edge, he explained the history of abduction, and that his mother – who was not as young as she used to be – was the recurring target. Frankly, he did not want her getting hurt by some miscalculation of Megamind's. And most hostages were clearly rattled by the experience. More than once, he had to awkwardly remove kissing lips from his boots.

But I had held up as well as his mother, even adding a bit of smart talk.

He figured if not me, then someone else. The media would find a way to tie someone to him, even if they gave up on women and declared him in the closet for some guy he rescued. But anyone else might end up breaking down under the pressure I was weathering.

So he asked me to keep this up for those other potential victims and so he would not have to worry about some girl he smiled at being declared his girlfriend after eating breakfast in a diner.

He made the mistake of offering me an under the table salary. And I made a bigger mistake, learning that if you are going to hit a man of steel, use a weapon, not your slapping hand.

I did let him pay for the doctor's bill.

And so it began, the cycle of my life.

**X X X **

I report news; mostly Metro Man. Megamind escapes prison. 39% chance of my being kidnapped. If not kidnapped, cover the inevitable clash. If Megamind escapes, await next clash. If he goes to jail, cover that. Cover crimes by other Metro Man enemies, but never kidnapped – apparently, Megamind had dibs on my kidnapping rights. And the cycle started anew.

It went on for years. My social life became nonexistent; after all, getting close meant getting potentially caught up in that cycle I mentioned. I was a fixture in the news and the most recognized reporter in the city. Dream achieved there.

The abductions, in fairly short order, lost their luster and I became the snark spread between two thick slices of ham. It was less outrage, I think, and more just boredom once it became clear it was just front row seats to a show.

Sometimes things got broken up. Like Megamind running with my offhand suggestion of freaky kidnapping cards for his victims. I got all fourteen items in the catalogue, including the max kidnapping "Megamind Everything-Proof Tote Bag".

It was just part of my routine, my other other monthly visitor come to annoy me regardless of any plans I may have made. Still, it wasn't so bad, it was just how my life had turned out, and it looked like this little offstage show was my life for the foreseeable future.

Until I, and everyone, was reminded this show was real. That guarantees are often thin veneers, and your well-ordered world is just one bad day from falling to pieces.

The day the villain won.

**X X X**

The dedication and opening day of the Metro Man Museum, dedicated to Metro Man and all his Metro Man Achievements. To be fair, it also had a number of Megamind-centered exhibits, and the lesser villains of both the city and aliens Metro Man had ongoing grudges with. Surreally enough, there was even an exhibit to yours truly.

I am just going to take a moment and say for the record that cardboard standees of yourself are a creepy, creepy thing to find.

The event was a holiday, complete with street carnival and Metro Man to sign autographs for the people visiting the museum that day. And a banquet in the place that night, which never happened.

I knew Megamind would show up. He was pretty much due for an escape and assorted bedlam. And really, what respectable villain could pass up a chance to crash a party celebrating his archenemy?

I wasn't worried; if he grabbed me, it would the same old song and dance all over again. My worry, was a guy named Hal.

Hal was young, my new cameraman, and sadly a fanboy. They happen, even with my celebrity by association status. Fans can be weird, and unlike Metro Man I only have Carlos to keep creeps off my door. Do not get me started on some of the feminist hate mail I have gotten for the damsel in distress stuff.

Hal was just a creepy geek. Not dangerous – delusional and obsessive, yes, but I couldn't see him getting worse then he was at the moment. And it was kind of nice to have someone flirting with me.

Between guys being terrified of getting strapped to a rocket by Megamind, or being seen by the most powerful Super in the world as stealing a march on him… well, let's just say gentlemen callers were about as common as polar bears in Nevada.

So I humored him, taking his creepiness in stride while trying to not encourage him. Hopefully he would soon switch obsessions and move on, and we could just be work kind-of-friends.

I was rescued from that awkwardness by Minion.

Oh, did I forget to mention the talking alien fish who lives in a robot gorilla suit and who is named after his function? Funny the things you overlook. Anyway, long story short, he is perhaps the only other sane person in this operation, I had realized. He is here as Megamind's friend, and if he has fun, it's like my snark, where you just try and make the situation work for you.

When I woke up with my head bagged, I immediately realized who it was, having been carried over that shoulder so many times.

It is a sad thing when abduction by aliens is preferable to awkward conversation with a coworker. I listened for a while, playing asleep.

All these years being hit with that stuff has let me build up an immunity to it effects, waking up much quicker, and after the initial shock of getting sprayed, it just takes a jolt or such to wake me up.

Probably should have asked the doctor about that?

Anyway, in the spirit of the day, I decided to give no play along to Megamind's antics, if only to see if he might actually break out something new. I'm fairly sure the spider wasn't planned, though tricking Minion into punching his boss was a victory I took no small pride in.

Well, dialed up snark aside, banter was fairly standard, message sent overly dramatically, probably with clouds of doom. Oh, look at me on the Jumbotron, hi Mom! I hope you're proud.

I was able to once again drop a clue to Metro Man, old abandoned observatory. I liked to be helpful, even if it was just speeding things along.

The problem with routine is you get sloppy. I forgot that Megamind, cliché-loving scatterbrain he is, is also a genius.

"You didn't think you were in the real observatory, did you?"

He planned for my action. His plan absolutely required it. Being played actually did shut me up for a bit, a reminder that for all my wit, this was a man who could probably build most consumer goods from the contents of a scrap yard and some wire spools, given a few hours.

Still, his doomsday weapon needed to warm up, and no one was impressed. Even Minion seemed to be feeling the rut then.

Everything was going as it should, and then everything went wrong. Apparently that much copper plating was needed to activate Metro Man's weakness; perhaps the amount was needed? Or was it the time he wasted bantering with Megamind and being unimpressed that cost him a usual window he would have used to escape the weakness being revealed?

It went wrong so quick. The revelation, Minion frantically pointing out the device was actually ready, and Megamind flabbergasted a common metal was the long sought after key to his desired win.

Then things exploded. It reminded me of the airship exploding, a bookend. Minion was quick to point out they might have actually gotten him, but Megamind – showing more common sense than usual – was not ready to celebrate, then the moment of the familiar white speck…

Bones. Metro Man, drained of his power, disintegrated down to his indestructible cape and bare bones. What was seen for a moment as just another daring escape, was really a final flight courtesy of explosive trajectory.

The word was silent, and only a fish had the words:

"You did it, sir."

"I did it?"

I don't think anyone was more surprised than the murderer himself. Or would it be manslaughter? Despite his intentions, he clearly did not expect it to actually work.

Cutting the feed after a little victory dance, he had Minion gas me again, "take her home," he had ordered. After all, no one was coming to rescue me, so letting me go was really the only option.

I woke up in the invisible car. I didn't pretend to be asleep. Minion panicked and tried to spray me, turns out the can was empty. Rather symbolic, I suppose, new territory entered where old habits were already losing their power. I requested he pull over and let me out.

The fish complied and awkwardly bid me a good day before I closed the door, concealing him from sight.

I walked around the city for some time aimlessly, among the other masses who rather than their homes had taken to shambling feet. I looked a mess, but it hardly seemed to matter now.

The game had turned deadly; it was over. A new reality was coming upon us. It was almost a relief when word came through the pipe that Megamind was marching down Grand Avenue to City Hall with Minion and an army of his brainbots.

I ran there, not knowing what I would do. Perhaps it was because with Metro Man gone the villain was the remaining piece dangling in my life? Or the withered journalist ideal of getting there to cover the story?

Maybe I just needed something, anything, to point me in a direction?

One chapter was over, and I think it was there, arriving just in time to watch the blue man literally dance his way to the halls of power, the new chapter began.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Well apart from the beginning section this is still fairly canon.

I take a lot of assumptions with the history of the trio and Roxanne's own thoughts. I do not claim this to be her 'true feelings' or something. I feel it is fairly probable and makes for a good story, to quote Megamind: "Lets just have fun with this!"

Now, next chapter we get to the point of divergence proper. Most of that is already done but writing up the factory trying to be faithful to the original is surprisingly hard.

Well hope it does not take too much longer.

Long days and pleasant nights to you all.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer:I do not own the awesomeness that is Megamind.

* * *

_Megamind:_

"Heroine"

Chapter 2

**The Highway to What the Heck?!**

The song was "Highway to Hell"; despite what people said, Megamind always paid close attention to features like that. I suppose if he ever got bored with the "eternal" conflict, he just shifted his creativity to the garnishing.

Metro Man was dead, and his archenemy danced down the street to a song of unfortunate implications from the boom box Minion was carrying old school style.

"Drop 'em!" he commanded the police barricade that had their guns leveled at him. You could tell he was trying not to laugh. And they dropped them.

First the police, then the mayor, stood aside and let him take the stage on the steps of City Hall.

It was disgusting. Hours ago, people were booing Megamind practically to his face and treating him as the loser half of their favorite recurring entertainment. Take Metro Man out of the equation, and it looked like the whole world was ready to roll over for one blue man without a word of protest.

Even when his boom box malfunctioned, no one laughed. No one called him out on bragging over a man's death like he had just won an award. There was no anger at what he done or was doing in that crowd, only anxiety and, worst of all, acceptance.

He even opened the floor for questions.

I asked one, and he actually looked pleased to see me as I tried to put enough anger for this entire crowd into my glare.

It didn't unsettle him in the least.

"I'm sure that we'd all like to know what you plan to do with us and this city?"

Megamind had an answer, "Good, I'm glad you asked that. Imagine the most horrible, terrifying, evil thing you can possibly think of and multiply it… by six! In the meantime, I want you to carry on with the dreary normal things you, normal people, do. Let's just have fun with this, come on! And I will get back to you."

And with an awkward exit with audible back stage whispering, Megamind went into the heart of Metro City and declared himself Evil Overlord.

Part of me hoped that this declaration was just him pulling nonsense out of his head. But he had been trying to win his feud for more than just the six years I was involved. It wasn't like he had never thought about what he would do if he won. He is a genius; it probably would only take him an hour of serious thought on the matter to come up with something sinister to file away for the future.

**XXX**

There was no mass evacuation, not with brain bots irregularly patrolling the streets. Everyone assumed he would stop any noticeable escape attempts. People either holed up as best they could against a Metro Man-less world, or tried to carry on with their lives.

Days passed, and for me at least, life went on. I became the leading reporter that was not behind a desk, since most of the news staff went to ground. All those Megamind jokes they made in the past had led them to decide now was the time to take some time off.

The news mostly consisted on conveying vague and contradictory decrees from Megamind or warning people about damage done in his odd little rampages.

Metro City, like its news, was a shadow of its former self. The police department broke itself up when Megamind, in his new status, pulled their budget. Since he didn't seem interested in the actual city government, it really just dried up.

Metro City had become a populace of stunned anarchy with a minimal kleptomaniac state that abused its power with impunity on whatever immature whim struck its overlord's fancy at the moment. Businesses closed down, trash piled up everywhere. Even open businesses became shorthanded as people either sneaked out or tied to hide themselves from whatever shoe would drop next.

And I realized that was all it was – waiting.

There was no collapse into riots, or even crime sprees. From street thugs to the lesser supervillains, Megamind had laid a mark on this city as his personal sandbox. I am sure some people tried to play in his sandbox, but we didn't hear about it.

The national government had long left this stuff to the Supers, and people seemed to think that a government able to handle supervillains was a bad idea anyway. So no help could really come from that quarter.

As for the ISA, International Super Association, their Top Ten had Metro Man not only at the top, but when the other nine were mind controlled by Fleem, Conqueror of Planets, Metro Man had beaten them all. So if Megamind could take down their far and away strongest member, what could they do?

I am sure the best of them were scrambling, trying to come up with some strategy, or at least preparing for whatever attack Megamind would launch on the world. But I would bet a good many hung up their capes and decided to stay out of the way of the new "most powerful being in the galaxy".

There was not one reason to hope for a cavalry to ride in.

As I watched him and Minion use buses as darts against a target painted onto the wall of an apartment building, it hit me.

The city was falling apart. There was no resistance from the people. The will of the people had turned out to be a Metro Man-shaped balloon, and one prick from Megamind, and it deflated.

It wasn't that he thought with Metro Man gone he could push us all around and do as he liked. It was that he was absolutely right.

I sometimes had wondered why he didn't just go conquer another city. Fight another hero he could probably beat. I assumed it was sport; that pride and desire for a challenge made no one else as worthy as Metro Man was.

But the truth was that one man was the only thing between him and getting whatever he wanted whenever, wherever, period. Why bother with anything else when he knew there was only one obstacle that mattered?

And the worst thing I could imagine times six? Was this:

I had always thought people were strong despite themselves. 300 Spartans, the Jewish warriors at Masada, the French after Joan of Arc was executed, Texas after the Alamo, Britain after Dunkirk, and America after Pearl Harbor.

Yes, evil could win battles, but good would come back to win the war because it refused to stay down.

And here I saw it staying down. People had given up; even with the Metro Man museum still standing as a monument to the one who had defended us for so long, their eyes were on the ground.

The worst thing was that everything we thought solid was stupidly frail. Without Metro Man to stand in his way, Megamind barely had to poke the structure of society and it was on its way to collapse under the weight of its own weak will; its own cowardice.

I waited until I was home to mourn that faith in humanity and finally mourn a man who wasn't quite a friend but had used godlike powers for good.

Did I mention he left me twenty million dollars in his will? Just in bank money too, there was about as much in stocks. Being rich felt bad, my own achievements building up from a crappy apartment to my much-loved high rise, utterly eclipsed with the stroke of a pen.

As usual, when he tried to be nice outside of the superhero role, he did about as much harm as good. His father thought it was absurd and his mother thought I shouldn't spend it as he was only faking being dead, surely.

A part of me had held some kind of hope too, I guess. He or someone else would swoop in and make things right again. Only there was no hero on the horizon.

That night I almost lost it on camera, demanding to know if he was happy about what he had done. Wanting to know what kind of sick pleasure he might be getting from this as a Super nerd who may only see us as toys under the immature genius exterior.

"This is Roxanne Richie, coming to you from a city without a hero."

**XXX**

I did that last broadcast at the foot of the steps to the Metro Man Museum, within sight of City Hall, now adorned with blue and stupid demotivational banners of Megamind. It is just plain insulting when your resident tyrant clearly isn't taking tyrannizing you seriously.

Hal made a pass at me. And the funny thing is, had he not just then taken his creepiness up to eleven, I would have said yes. After all, he was one of the few people who seemed to not let events weigh him down. In fact, he didn't seem at all changed or saddened by the state of the city and its people.

Yeah, the more you think about Hal, the worse for him. Anyway, point is, he implied I might just decide randomly to marry him, and I put him down gently. I think he hit his head against the truck, while missing the point of why I said no.

I went into the Metro Man Museum, because it seemed the only thing to do.

It was beautiful, big, overblown, and a little tacky, much like the man himself. No one had really touched it, so it was now a museum to an era as well as a man. The optimism and calm assurance of those deceptively close times hung stale in the air. Present, but cheapened by knowledge.

Or perhaps cheapened was the wrong word, I thought, looking over the many times Metro Man had saved the city? I had been around for some of these, and had quickly taken for granted that everything would remain on the same predictable track.

As much as I found myself angry with other people, I had a lot to answer for. I had taken a hero for granted, and dismissed the world's greatest supervillain as little more than an annoying relative I had to put up with more often than I liked.

Securely in depths of guilt, I had no idea the tide was about to start its turn.

I ran into Bernard, literally! Well, I wasn't running so, not quite literally.

He seemed much like he had been while making final preparations for the museum opening – world-weary dull, snarky, the picture of the intellectual snob, with visible traces of antisocial malcontent.

My guess the first time was the stress of being understaffed and his head on the block for a huge opening event. And this time, maybe he was where I was, in spirit. Bernard let me know they were closing, but in the first clue at him actually being a nice guy let me stay for a bit.

The one thing I liked about the museum was the statue. It seemed to catch Metro Man at his best, a brave, caring, and strong man who fought a long, endless fight until it used him up. Not his hammyness, ego, and repeated empathy failures.

I apologized more or less for taking him for granted. I mean, just look how much worse the world was minus him! Endorsements don't get much plainer than that.

Of course, it really was just like talking to a tombstone. It doesn't really offer answers. Though I thought I heard Megamind in that moment, and a trick of shadows sent me running.

Turned out just to be Bernard – apparently his cart tipped over. I think now he must have also been pouring his heart out. Anyway, it was time to go, and he showed me out.

His depression was plain to see now, and refreshingly direct. He wasn't giving up so much as ravaged, I realized – having studied Metro Man, he probably had felt almost like losing a friend, and Lord how much time since had he spent in that tomb of a museum?

It is odd how the right words can change everything. I told him that heroes are not born, they are made.

"Heroes can be made!" he exclaimed, his green eyes lightening up. I had never noticed what intense green eyes he had until that moment. And just like that, we talked about what made a hero, like two kids exited over some treat. I think it was my first smile since Metro Man's corpse landed at my feet.

And not just realizing we didn't need a cape or cavalry for heroes, everything listed was doable by ordinary people! After all, wasn't Bat Knight just some highly trained man with lot of equipment? Yes, we lacked training and equipment…

But the real point was, I had managed to turn someone around, take them out of personal darkness into this nearly dancing light. I felt good, like I could do something about it all.

Then the museum exploded. I knew Megamind well enough to recognize his work. An implosion – he only wants to destroy what he wants to destroy, and engineered to be flashy and impressive.

He had not been there; he was too vain to do anything without announcing it. Another change from the norm. Had he intended Bernard to die in the blast as he might have had I not been there? Or had he just stopped caring if anyone got caught up in his play?

The real question though was, why now? Why wait until now to destroy the monument to his defeated foe? It had seemed he was going to preserve it as some kind of casual mockery, a monument to his many defeats in the middle of the city he conquered.

Well, if things were changing, the obvious solution was to change with them. Time to stop waiting for a hero to step up, and do it myself.

The first thing I handled back at home was get on the computer and pull up a map of the city, with the old abandoned observatory as my first clue. I had been able to see it from Megamind's real hideout. Looking at the map and trying to recall the view, I got a rough idea of where it was. It wasn't much, but it was a start. And hopefully, Megamind hadn't planned on anyone actually looking for a fake observatory.

I went to bed, and slept deeply. The territory was unfamiliar, but it felt like I was finally moving through it rather than being dragged through it.

**XXX**

She had found Megamind's hideout. She, Roxanne, had found his hideout.

Oh, and Hal was here too. Someone had to drive while she looked at the rooftops. The cabs were still running – apparently, taxi drivers were among that same hardy breed as food service workers – but she felt bad at the idea of asking a taxi driver to do something so potentially dangerous.

'Wait, but it's okay to endanger Hal?' Roxanne wondered. Getting out of the van, she tuned out another attempt at boasting to impress her and decided it was best not to think about it.

A fake observatory on top of the building. And if she got on the roof, she was certain it would be that same view.

And of course, it was just in character for Megamind to go to all that trouble to fool her for five minutes, only to leave a long-term gigantic clue on his roof as a result. Genius intellect, but the title of "smart" was debatable.

"So Roxanne, now what?" she muttered. Walking closer to the building, she began to follow the wall. There was probably a big warehouse style door, but even Megamind wouldn't leave that unlocked. And even if it wasn't, it might take a truck or something to open; she had little experience with that.

Still, she felt… happy? Well, at least very pleased with herself. She had figured out how to find Megamind, and her plan had worked so far.

She liked to think she was a stronger, more personality-driven damsel than most, but it was still damsel in distress as her secondary occupation. She might have been able to lend Metro Man a hand every once in a while, but with all his power, there was never any doubt the most she did was speed up his victory.

Heck, even Megamind deserved points for sheer persistence in all of this. Not to mention he actually built stuff that might have made him rich if he made patented inventions rather than doomsday weapons.

But this was no damsel role now! She was here by her own design, and she was going to make a difference.

Still, fact was, the villain in there killed Metro Man, and she had no superpowers. Not a good combo. Best to increase her chances with help. She heard Hal trip on something – more liability than asset there.

Most people would be conflicted here on whether they should call their friends for help or to endanger them. She didn't have the option, since she recalled she essentially had no friends. How very tidy, she thought.

Then she thought of last night. Bernard! He had seemed enthused enough, after all, and as a Metro Man/Megamind expert, he was possibly the most qualified person to help her infiltrate the hideout.

Pulling out her cell phone, she searched through the sent calls. The first unlabeled one, she thought, was from setting up the interview.

"Here goes something," she said, selecting the number. Waiting while it rang, she wondered exactly how to ask a man you barely knew to risk his life with you.

"Ohllo?"

Of course, finding the right number would help the process immensely.

"Oh, hello?" Bernard asked.

"Bernard, it's Roxanne. Listen, you really inspired me last night."

"Oh, well, you inspired me too," he answered. He sounded a bit smug there, but whatever.

"Listen, it's time we stood up to Megamind, and showed him he can't just push us around."

"Oh, really?" he answered. She thought she heard him talk to someone in the background.

"I'm already hot on his trail," she told him.

"And what makes you say that?" he asked, sounding a bit odd.

"I found his secret hideout!" she told him, trying to restrain the glee at those words. He shouted something in surprise, apparently not having the phone to his mouth.

"HOW-how did you find his hideout?" he asked, flabbergasted over the line.

"This is the only building in the city with a fake observatory on top," she told him. His stunned reaction was palpable even this way. As much as she wanted to win him over, there was something satisfying in spotting things people declared smart by their occupations missed.

'Point, Roxanne,' she thought. Then her eyes alighted on a certain something on the ground.

Ridiculous, but then again, Megamind could be just that sometimes. A lot of the time, actually.

"There's a doormat here that says secret entrance!" she exclaimed. Had it always been this easy?

Holding out a hand against the solid barrier her senses insisted was before her, Roxanne Richie stepped into the Lair of Megamind. The corridor of the factory she stepped into was rather drab and factory-like, though the crates around showed it wasn't as abandoned as advertised. Bernard, she realized, was still talking… er, shouting?

"Bernard?" she asked. What exactly had she interrupted?

"Oh, not you Roxanne. I was just… yelling at my mother's urn!" he told her. She was not sure how to respond to that – hopefully it was a lie for something more embarrassing, and sane.

"Uh, yes, don't do anything, I'll be right there!" Bernard said, before hanging up. Looking up at the dank corridor before her, Roxanne considered the request. Waiting for help was good advice. She easily recalled all the reasons she had wanted Bernard's help in the first place.

But still…

She had made it this far on her own wits. It was probably selfish, and more than a little crazy, but she felt she needed to take this last step on her own. Not waiting for someone to show up and help her.

Bernard was no Metro Man. Metro Man, by the sheer fact of what he was, could make you feel small without meaning to. And if you got angry with him for it, you felt guilty. It wasn't like he had a choice in being so mighty, and he used that might to help others first and himself second. People with far less power used it with much less benevolence.

Bernard, she was thinking of right now as a partner. But what if he showed up and took charge? She pictured him grabbing bits of junk as he walked through the lair, assembling a weapon, and setting in motion the saved day. With her just trailing behind.

It was unfair to not want someone competent to appear now; it would be best for everyone. But at the very least, she wanted this, the first step. Even if all she did was lead someone into the lair, that at least would be hers.

She pressed on, taking in the casually scattered machinery and high-tech parts, she even noticed some clusters of dynamite sticks atop a crate. Old fashioned for a super genius, but she knew Megamind loved his clichés and classics.

Stepping into what had likely once been a manufacturing floor, she marveled at the large curtain and the gear that Megamind had left out. She had seen the like and better over the years, but this time she was neither a hostage nor a recently rescued former hostage on her way out to get a coffee and unwind.

When the hand grabbed her shoulder she whirled, and almost slapped Bernard in the face.

"Roxanne!" Bernard said, surprised it seemed.

"Bernard! How did you get here so fast?" she asked. He couldn't have been more than a block away, even with a car.

"I happened to be speed walking nearby," he answered, gong through the motions, mimicking speed walking as they entered the lair proper.

"In a suit?"

"Yes, it's called formal speed walking," he answered.

'Well, that's a lie. Was he on the same trail and I just barely beat him here?' Roxanne wondered. On the one hand, it was good to know someone else might spot the obvious, but it only supported her worry that her new little role rebellion may not be as unique as it was making her feel.

'No, bad Roxie, focus on defeating evil,' she told herself. Puling back the curtain, she was rewarded with some kind of hanging collage of images and sheets scaled with numbers and diagrams against still more mounted on a wall.

"It's the mother lode!" she cheered, walking into the midst of it all. She had never seen much of Megamind's planning stage. Sure, the times he wanted her there to witness him insert the final component or piece of fuel or such. But this was where all the city-threatening tech started, or perhaps not the technology, but the plans they were part of?

She felt it instinctively, looking on the modern art-like set up. This was a Megamind-style blueprint, a genius' thought processes rendered on paper, cardboard, and string. It baffled her, but this was a peek you did not squander.

"I could really use your help analyzing this. You're an expert on all things Megamind," Roxanne said, pulling out her camera. He or Minion could walk in any minute; she needed to get this insider data while she could.

Then the brain bots swarmed out from somewhere above.

Roxanne ducked the swarm out of instinct, heart racing. She had been carried off by the robot horde before. Granted, it was not completely unpleasant – Megamind was very particular that any harm would only be inflicted when he had the appropriate stage. Bruises in the midst of an abduction, in his strange logic, seemed unprofessional.

To her shock, the robots swarmed over, and past, her. Bernard cried out as he was lifted into the air and hauled out of sight.

"Bernard!" she called.

"Stupid, stupid!' she chastised herself. Guilt crashed in on how she was worrying over him upstaging her. This was not some high school basketball game, it had become deadly, and man, seeing someone carried off like that was freaky.

She had to do something! What?!

Spying a strange syringe gun thing on the table, glowing golden even, she knew what she needed to do.

Act.

Picking up the gun, surprised at the weight of it, she hurried after Bernard.

'Playing the hero, eh Roxie? Well, you had better hope this isn't loaded with robot polish or something!' she told herself.

"Megamind!" she called out, seeing the villain looking down the corridor away from her.

"What did you do with Bernard?" she demanded.

"Oh, Bernard? I am doing all sorts of horrible things to him as we speak. You know the drill," the blue bald supervillain said, backing up. He pulled open a slanted door and stuck his head through.

"Oh, please, not the drill!" Bernard screamed. Megamind slammed the door.

"We were just about to start with the hammers and spikes," Megamind added.

"Not the hammer and spikes!" Bernard yelled when Megamind looked into the other room again.

Roxanne stepped forward, pointing the gun at the villain after he shut the door again. She smiled when he flinched back.

"Let him go!" Roxanne commanded. Did she just really threaten Megamind? Judging by the way he was looking at the gun with its glowing contents, she was holding something threatening.

"Easy with that," Megamind said, clearly uneasy.

"I don't know what this gun does! But if you don't let him go, I will find out!" she warned, pointing it at him, finger on the trigger.

"Okay, okay! I'll go get him," Megamind said. Before she could say another thing, he had sprung through the door.

'That was… easy? I just threatened someone with a gun. Well, that happened?' Roxanne thought.

Then Bernard burst through the door yelling at Megamind, only to get dragged back through it. Then it was Megamind, either struggling to fight or escape Bernard?

A short and confusing from her angle fight ensued with Bernard offering some strange, almost fanboy insults to Megamind, before Bernard seemed to finally slam the door in the villain's face.

"I tried to overpower him, but he's just too fantastic!" Bernard said, dashing up to her.

"Wow, I have never seen anyone stand up to him like that. Other than Metro Man," Roxanne told him. Seemed ordinary people could do a lot against a supervillain if they tried – who knew?

"Let's get out of here," she said, turning away. Even if he was knocked out, Minion and the brain bots were likely lurking nearby.

"Good idea. Maybe I should carry the gun?" he said. He reached to take it and Roxanne jerked it away. Letting a self-confessed nerd carry the science fiction-possibly-ray gun did not seem a good idea. Besides, why shouldn't she carry it, she had stared down Megamind with it.

Moving ahead, she stopped to look at the planning culture thing. Had she gotten it all? There wouldn't be a point to this if the puzzle she had taken was missing a bunch of pieces. Assuming they could even-

"Give it back!" Megamind yelled, grabbing the gun. Roxanne jerked back as he tried to pull it out if her hands.

"Bernard, run!" she yelled. Hopefully he had not been captured too. How had Megamind caught up so fast?

"You have no idea!" Megamind cursed, struggling against her.

Roxanne was not sure what possessed her in that moment; maybe it was a simple idea of the moment. Or maybe it was just wanting to see this recent murderer/long-term annoyance finally get some payback from her.

She head-butted him right in the face. It startled him enough to go slack. Bad thing, as Roxanne almost pulled him and herself down onto the floor as he slammed into her.

Pushing him back reflexively, her finger squeezed tight on the trigger.

'Did he slap me?' Roxanne thought as she let go of the gun while her vision flashed out.

She fell back on to concrete, her face stinging and her nose feeling like it had been stung. The gun clattered to the ground between her and the downed supervillain.

Roxanne pushed herself up into sitting, vision spinning. Megamind recovered much better, springing back to his feet. Faster than she had ever seen him move, he swiped up the gun.

Roxanne had a moment of panic, thinking she might be about to join Metro Man in retirement. But he did not aim it at her. She saw his distorted face, with eyes going wide, through the empty container.

"NO! Where did it go!? There isn't-! Minion! Minion! Where did it go!?" The supervillain practically screamed in panic, whirling about on the spot, desperately looking around.

Roxanne looked around in confusion, and saw the exit Bernard had pointed out earlier.

'Time to go,' she thought. The reporter dashed for the exit, and flung the door open.

She let out a startled cry as her leading foot found nothing and she scrambled not to fall into the sheer drop before her.

Instead of the outside, the door led into a whitewashed pit with a disco ball casting its light while music played. And below her… alligators? With pet toys?

She was only registering the absurdity of the trap that would actually kill when her shoulders were grabbed and she was pulled back from the deadly disco.

The door swing back shut with a clang and she turned to see Bernard was her rescuer.

"Bernard! You were right, that room is exciting," she admitted with a laugh.

Once again, the brain bots swept into sight from above, at least a dozen.

"We should run now," Bernard said. Roxanne took his hand and pulled him along they ran back the way they had come, the flying mechanical lackeys in pursuit.

'They're going to catch up,' Roxanne realized. Then saw they were running up to the crate of dynamite.

'Oh, yes,' she thought, grabbing a bundle of red sticks. True to form, a match was tucked, sticking out of the bundle. Striking it as she ran, Roxanne lit the fuse. It immediately ignited and started to burn.

"Bernard, catch!" she shouted, tossing the explosives back to him.

"Isn't that a bit extreme?" he asked.

"Throw it!" Roxanne snapped. He might have whispered something, and the curator threw the explosive bundle back. The sound of the brain bots faded.

Then came the big boom, and both of them bursting through the hologram, back into the daylight.

**XXX**

"Wow, that! That was something," Roxanne panted. Looking up to the blue sky, she smiled. She was not worried about Megamind chasing them. Not because of the bomb, but because Megamind was a stickler for plans. And she was pretty sure whatever he had planned did not involve coming after them now.

"Yes, very exciting. Dynamite will do that," Bernard said, pushing his glasses back into place.

"You were great in there," Roxanne said, before rubbing her nose. She smiled at him, he smiled back. It was… kind of nice. It suited him much more than the bored impression he gave that first time weeks ago.

Then Hal showed up.

"Roxanne! Sorry I'm late, I was scoping the perimeter with my ninja moves. But I'm here now!" He said, running up to them. He was panting, even going down to brace his hand against his left knee.

Well, he had been concerned enough to exert himself. That was kind of sweet.

"It's alright Hal, mission accomplished," Roxanne told him. Darn, her nose was still itching; she hoped it didn't swell too badly.

"Who's your friend?" Bernard asked. Roxanne tapped her nose before she answered.

"This is Hal, my cameraman," she answered. She would not exactly call him a friend, but she wasn't going to say something like that right in front of the guy.

"Who am I? Who are you, Mr. Suit and Glasses?" Hal demanded. His tone was anything but friendly. Roxanne would roll her eyes if it weren't so unsurprising he would act so rude.

For his part, Bernard either took the hostility in stride, or missed it.

"Hal, this is Bernard, my partner," Roxanne said.

"Partner? I'm your partner! Listen, 'Bernie', you think you can just come in after we find the hideout- What happened to your nose?!" Hal broke off his rant to shout. And got in her face.

"It looks all… red!" Hal declared. She took a step back, holding a hand toward her face, resisting the urge to scratch the itchy skin.

"It's alright Hal. I got hit by one of Megamind's weapons-"

"You got shot in the face?!"

He rounded on Bernard, surprising the former curator, jabbing him in the chest with his index finger.

"What kind of lousy would-be partner are you?! I would protect Roxanne's nose with my life! I don't think you've got what it takes if this is what happens when you're-"

"Hal! It's fine, it was a dud, Megamind was probably planning to scrap it or something. Seriously, it's just like a bee sting my nose," Roxanne told both men. Hal looked ready to argue further but stayed quiet when Bernard stepped around him and up to Roxanne.

His green eyes narrowed as he starred at her nose.

"Really, a bee sting? Not like, say, a sudden localized outbreak of minor-to-moderate sunburn?" he asked.

"No, definitely a bee sting," Roxanne told him. He was bit too close, but unlike Hal, it felt like an honest accident rather than invading her space. He nodded, looking thoughtful.

"Any non-bee sting feelings? Lightheadedness? Tingling in any limbs or an inexplicable urge to smile?" he asked.

His serious tone at such a strange twist on his question did make her laugh.

"Well, it's not inexplicable. We did it, Bernard! We actually pulled a… raid? Well, something on Megamind, and have a glance at his plans!" she said, pulling out her phone. He looked at the phone in clear surprise; had he thought it was lost in the explosion?

Ha, she was professional – she did not lose the goods to a mere epic encounter! And she needed to stop tempting fate.

"Listen, let's not give Megamind too much time to decide whether it might be worth his time to come out here. Let's head home and meet up, say, tomorrow?" she said.

"Okay, right. Do you… want to call a cab?" he asked. He looked about as surprised he asked as she did that he asked.

"Roxanne does not need a cab. I can give her a better ride for free!" Hal cut in.

"Yeah, I mean, see you later," Roxanne said.

Soon enough, she was in the van, and watching Bernard walk off in the rearview mirror. The adrenaline rush fading, she felt very tired for what she just did.

**XXX**

Roxanne was wishing she had taken that cab right now. Her nose was still tingling and she thought her head might be starting to ache, but the annoyance was Hal. Bad enough he had practically threatened Bernard, who had actually helped. The saving grace seemed to be that Bernard was either too nice or socially dense to not realize Hal was serious in that way of his.

The problem was that he was not only still offering to take her to the hospital, but that he could take her to his apartment. Some special miracle cream his aunt made and he would gladly rub on her.

Not even if he wasn't creepy. And there came that suggestion again.

"Hal, if you turn toward your apartment, I am getting out of this van even if it's still moving," she told him, glaring. Glancing over, Hal recoiled at the glare, and sent the van reeling too. Her head thumped against the window before he righted it.

"Roxanne, you okay?! How many fingers do you see? Are you feeling sleepy?" Hal demanded, frantically thrusting his palm practically into her face. He remembered to brake then, smacking her face inadvertently.

"Come on, Roxanne! You're in a delicate condition, you shouldn't be walking on your own feet!" Hal pleaded. She had gotten out of the van and was walking up to her mercifully close building.

"It's right there Hal, I think I can manage," she retorted.

"But you shouldn't be alone. I mean, what if you have some kind of super seizure and I'm not there to rescue you? I mean, it would be bad even if I was there, but then-" Hal stopped talking as he trailed behind her. Roxanne paused, having just put her hand on the door to her building.

"Uh, little help?" Hal asked. With a sigh, Roxanne looked over her shoulder. Hal's path was blocked by the long, thick arm of the tall, bulky doorman in his uniform. Glancing over his own shoulder at her, Carlos raised an eyebrow.

"I'm with her, big guy. She's had a traumatic experience, she needs support, all kinds of support," Hal said, trying and failing to push the arm aside. Roxanne gave a small shake of her head; Carlos nodded in answer. She walked through the door, trying not to smile at the cameraman's shout of protest before the closing door finally cut him off.

Roxanne made it to her apartment, surprised to have arrived, registering it as she locked the door.

Had she blanked out walking?

"It was a dud, Roxanne, Megamind's crap falls apart one out of six times in the field, how much more gets sent to the scrap pile in the lab?" she reassured herself. Okay, falling apart was an exaggeration, but the whole "warming up" incident was hardly isolated. How often would he forget to install that one fingernail-sized component, so instead of the fish sinking the tanker under his command they start to synchronize swim like something out of a Disney movie.

"Well, that didn't work, but I admit the choreography is excellent," Metro Man had quipped. The smile at the thought vanished as her knees gave out.

He really was dead. Gone, no more witty remarks or hammy contest of pun one-upmanship or stupid catchphrases.

What was she even doing, challenging Megamind? She was a fourth grader compared to him in intellect. She was trembling because she got hit by a dud. Metro Man could take Megamind's best shots and still knock him out with a smile.

Except for the last shot.

"Keep it together," she ordered herself. Getting to her feet, she made her way to the bathroom. She needed to relax and she felt filthy; she was more a shower girl, but this called for a bath. A special treat.

The reporter did not bother much with her clothes; from shoes to underwear, she roughly tossed them by the toilet and climbed into the tub. A quick check confirmed she had everything she needed at hand.

With a sigh, she turned on the tap, expertly adjusting the mix of heat and cold to her sweet spot. Most people, she understood, liked to get into a prepared bath, but since she was a little girl she loved the way it felt for the tub to fill up around you. The sensation of the warm water closing over you, shutting out the air. She didn't bother with the soap yet, maybe she would just shampoo?

Why not?

Turning off the taps, she adjusted and, closing her eyes, let her head dip under the warm water. She breathed bubbles out, feeling her hair move in the liquid.

'Bliss,' she thought. Though she had left the lights too high.

Wait, no she hadn't.

Roxanne's eyes snapped open and she saw the glow was all around her. Her body was glowing golden; the water was heating up, too much.

Instinct and will drove her to sit up, breaking the surface. Instead, at the aborted motion, her torso cramped up and her neck tensed back, lightly slamming her head into the bottom of the tub. Her mouth opened, letting more air out before it closed.

As her body clenched, her right hand grabbed the tub rim, but she couldn't move anymore. The water was boiling around her.

She was gong to boil alive! She was going to drown in her own fucking bathtub!

'No, nonono! Please, not yet! I can't die yet; I haven't accomplished anything. Oh god, please!' She prayed frantically in her head.

Then golden light exploded, heat scorched her, ceramic shattered, and hot sweet air was pulled into her lungs.

**XXX**

"Well, it's official, we have struck hero!" Megamind shouted. He would have stood up to pose dramatically, but he was not going to hit his head against the ceiling of the invisible car again this week. The tracking/energy-wave-reading device he held confirmed it – Metro Man-class energy had erupted above them in Roxanne Richie's apartment.

Minion leaned over from the driver's seat to check the reading for himself.

"Are you sure about this, sir?" the fish that lived in a robot gorilla body asked.

"We have already established you do not know what is good for bad, Minion," Megamind chastised. The large-headed alien tossed the scanner into the back, pressing his face to the window, looking up at the building where his destiny awaited. This was the critical step to setting the cycle of eternal rivalry back onto its proper course!

"I'm not questioning the plan, officially, sir. But Miss Richie? Are you sure she is the ideal candidate for what you have in mind?" Minion pressed.

"Oh please, Minion, it is clear Fate is at work. Nay, Destiny itself is moving the cosmos to guide us down this path to the resumption of glorious rivalry!

"Is it a coincidence that the power should go to Roxanne Richie? The third member of mine and Metro Man's duo? Who gave me this idea in the first place? And the only unwashed savage in this city to actually try and stand up to me?

"No, Minion, there is only one question worth asking – how to approach her? My marvelous Space Dad set-up would fool even the above average human. But Roxanne, with her truth-penetrating reporter powers, we will need something a bit more easily accepted, keeping her reporter brain from probing.

"But what disguise could be so… Minion, it's the noise again," Megamind said, as the cell phone in his pocket began to ring.

**XXX**

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," Roxanne muttered into her kitchen phone. She was leaning down to the landline mounted next to her kitchen counter, installed at her mother's refusal to call her cell phone.

She was grateful for that now, with the cell phone crushed into pieces of plastic and wire in the den.

Roxanne had woken up in her bathtub, steam rising around her from the water still standing to dampen the back of her head and the rest of that… lying down region?

Her fist act had been to sit up, as if worried water would rush in to cover her anew. As a result, she dragged her right arm through the big hole in the tub rim. A huge chunk was missing. No, wait, there it was, scattered across the tile and her soaked red floor mat. The tub was also cracked horribly around her feet, as if she had almost… kicked it out?

"Get out of the tub," she told herself. Once that was done, things would start to make sense.

Grabbing an intact part of the rim, she levered herself up. Only for it to crumple under her hand and send her unsteady feet slipping and pushing. She hit the tile headfirst coming out of the tub.

"Shit!" she cried, wincing. That was not good, she needed a…

"What?" she muttered, realizing her head was not even throbbing from what should have been a potentially major head injury. Breathing a bit quicker, she pulled herself out of the tub and onto the tile, crawling over to the soggy mat.

The mat was soaked, but she trusted it more than water-slicked tile. Slowly moving into a crouch, she brushed a wet lock of hair out of her face.

She pulled it back, staring at the brown hair turned black by moisture. She had not had her hair this long in years.

Tucking the hair behind her ear, she placed her hands on the counter for balance and rose. She blinked, confused on why something seemed so off. Her head injury kicking in? Looking down at the counter, it clicked impossibly.

She was taller, and… toned?

She almost rushed out of the bathroom, but stopped, checking – no, she wasn't tall enough to hit her head on the doorway. She still found herself ducking slightly out of paranoia.

The carpet clung to her wet feet as she made her way to the couch. She grabbed the back of it, not feeling dizzy but just wanting to grab something solid. She shifted her weight, and the couch flipped back toward her.

Roxanne jumped back, not wanting her feet hurt, and crashed into the wall. She stood there a moment, shifting slightly, confirming that, yes, her back and head had dented her wall. The reporter then looked to the couch, at least seven feet away from where it lay on the floor.

"Oh God. Oh boy, Roxanne," she muttered.

The answer was clear – Megamind, the only remaining source of weirdness in her life. That led to the mysterious gun… Why?

Clearly, he had not wanted to use it on her, he had panicked when she pointed it at… him?

What if there were side effects? Was her skin changing to scales? Would she grow to Godzilla sizes and have to be naked all the time because there was no way she could afford that much cloth?!

She smacked herself, and took a deep breath. Pushing herself out of the wall, carefully, she took another long in-and-out breath and looked to her coffee table; her cell phone lay there from when she was undressing for the bath.

Picking it up, she jabbed the first number, and it cracked under the pressure. She hoped that her eye hadn't actually twitched before she let out a growl and crushed the broken device in a fist.

Now she had calmed down enough to dial with her back-up phone, better known as the "Mom Phone". She held her breath as the ringing cut out.

"Hello?" Bernard said on the other end.

"Oh thank God!" Roxanne breathed. A part of her had insisted something else had to go wrong before reaching help.

"Uh, yes thanks… to him?" Bernard answered. Roxanne laughed at that, probably louder than was appropriate. But his reaction without understanding her situation… well, it just assured her the world was not as crazy as it felt like to her right now.

"Roxanne, are you okay?" he asked. He sounded concerned, and he recognized her voice on the phone. She had never called him on this number, so it was not Caller ID.

"No, not really, I think. Listen, please, I need you to come here. I'll explain everything, but just please come now," she pleaded.

"I will be right there Roxanne!" he declared.

Well, that was enthusiastic. She appreciated that a lot right now.

"Thank you," she told him, shoulders she had not realized had tensed relaxing on her.

"No, really, I was on my way over. I'll be speaking to your doorman in about twenty seconds. He looks tough, could you buzz me in or whatever?" Bernard said. She laughed, saying she would before hanging up, gently.

The relief on her face vanished as she looked down and realized, she was naked and still dripping wet, with Bernard maybe two minutes away.

"Oh come on," she muttered, rubbing her temples.

**XXX**

She sat on the righted couch as she held out an arm, Bernard measuring the bicep with tape. Apparently he carried measuring tape and a number of other "useful instruments" on his person at all times. She had commented that was surprising for a curator. He had paused, and simply said his father was an engineer.

She had made herself decent with her bathrobe, tying it up with sleeves and belt, conveniently leaving her arms uncovered for Bernard's tailor routine.

He had been shocked when she opened the door for him, actual mouth drop open shock-surprise. Though her strange state of dress likely added some to that.

Her sense of propriety had briefly insisted at his doorbell ringing to make him wait while getting herself more presentable. She had shut that idiot up and let in someone that might help her.

"Well, you don't seem to still be growing, and I doubt you need to worry about gigantic growth spurts. The lead-up and aftermath to those have a number of symptoms including massive uncharacteristic cravings for food," Bernard said. Her pulled the tape off of her and replaced it in his pocket.

Taking back out the note pad from before, he wrote down the measurements.

"Bernard, I do feel a bit hungry," she said, suppressing a gulp.

"No, I am talking about 'tearing through the kitchen practically eating the containers' hunger. And probably threatening to kill me if I didn't call for, like, a hundred pizzas for you. The symptoms were well documented during the Attack of the 50-Foot tourists, 50-Foot Councilman, and the 50-Foot Carnival Barker," he waved off her concerns before counting off the incidents with his fingers.

"Well, Roxanne, you are approximately six inches taller, and have otherwise grown proportionally, I am pleased to say. Your muscles, while not Metro Man in appearance, are very fit – I dare say the size difference is both gender and your build. Metro Man worked out in addition to being, well, him," Bernard said.

"Metro Man? Wait, you are taking this very well Bernard," Roxanne told him.

"Uh, well. I mean, crazy stuff happens around Megamind! I have studied it, but you lived it! So it's only natural to expect… this?" he said.

"Anyway, we have got super strength, nigh invulnerability, and it sounds like you unlocked some sensory abilities before the tub incident. This is fantastic!" he exclaimed, actually jumping in the air.

"I need a new wardrobe," she said. She was wondering if maybe she should call a doctor, make sure this didn't give her cancer or something. Megamind's devices did not cause stuff like some supervillains did. He was too proud of his science to tolerate any unexpected side effects if he could help it. But then, she had taken this from the lab.

"Wardrobe? Well, yes, I suppose, but let's look at the big picture here, Roxanne. This is huge," Bernard muttered.

"And so am I, Bernard," she snapped. She tucked another bit of hair behind her ears. Her hair had grown with the rest of her. It reached slightly past her shoulders, and was reminding her why she liked it in her tidy pixie cut.

She was glad Bernard shut up at that, and then felt guilty. He had not freaked out during all this, and she was pretty sure that had kept her from breaking down. If anyone was at fault, it was probably her for trying to play hero.

He excused himself to use the restroom.

Roxanne looked to the coffee mug, cooling on the coffee table in front of her. Bernard has made it at her request; it had been a chore, yelling into the kitchen where the coffee was. But she did not want to break the coffee maker, so Bernard it needed to be. Of course, she had realized, when he placed the mug, how likely she was to break it, spilling the coffee.

Reaching for it, she frowned at her larger-than-it-should-be hand, and just the angle she was seeing the table at.

She just wished she were at normal size, and not a disaster area in the making. Finding herself focused on that thought, she took a deep breath, and let it out. And out, and out?

Opening her eyes as it felt like she was being deflated, everything down to her eyes cramping as golden light filled her vision, blinding her.

With a big crunch feeling, it stopped, and she collapsed back on the couch.

"SON OF A-!" Roxanne cursed, teeth clenched. Was this a day where she was going to have her body torment her every hour?! Bernard practically skidded into the room, hitting a chair and falling to the ground. He sprang up, pushing his glasses into place.

"What is it?! The craving didn't- Roxanne, you've shrunk!" Bernard shouted, pointing to her.

Sitting up, Roxanne realized it was true, when her now too loose robe fell down to her lap. Leaving her very topless for the man in front of her.

Bernard blinked and pushed his glasses up to perch on the top of his head and covered his eyes with his left hand.

"Okay, in the interest of science and the greater good, can we just pretend I only entered the room after… this?"

"…"

"And by the by, you still appear to have retained a superior physique-"

"Bernard, go sit in the bathroom until I tell you to come back out."

"Yes maam," he said. He mispronounced the word, but complied.

"Well, Roxie, this is certainly a break in routine," she admitted, putting her robe on, this time in the way it was designed for.

**XXX**

A pair of jeans and a white top later, she was sitting with Bernard at the kitchen table, emptied Chinese take out shoved to the side as he went over notes.

"Right then, so you are not invulnerable in Stage Two. A pin could not prick you, but a kitchen knife with moderate pressure could. Likewise, you are stronger than could be expected from your frame. And bearing proportions in mind, while in better shape than before, you are not in as 'good' shape. So Stage Two downgrades from Stage One, but remains physically advanced from Stage Zero.

"Right, there is just one more thing I would like to test tonight," Bernard said.

"And what is that? Heat vision?" Roxanne asked. She smiled at the thought. Getting back to relative normal, and some food, had helped immensely. Whatever was going on, she had some control at least. That helped.

That helped a lot.

"I want to confirm you can revert to Stage One. That will be vital for us to proceed," Bernard told her.

"Proceed? Do we have some kind of plan?" Roxanne asked.

"Do we have plan? Do we have a plan?! Miss Ritchie, you came up with the plan!" Bernard seemed stunned.

"Uh no, sorry. I was bit too busy not panicking and after that it was you giving this check up," Roxanne reminded him.

"No, no, before all that. The plan to stand up to Megamind. Roxanne, with the Stage One powers that we know of… why, we have not even scratched the surface! I mean, you may have more powers!

"Roxanne, this is it. The solution," he said, staring at her. The words sunk into Roxanne as he stared at her with those green eyes. Something about them, it felt like she had been looking into them for years. Not in some romantic sense, but that feeling like when you sit down and fill out a paper and have the feeling you have been there before doing the exact same thing. And more than that, he looked… desperate.

"Bernard. I mean, yes, I said that. But this… I'm not exactly Metro Man…" she muttered, looking away.

"No, being female rather disqualifies such a notion. Not to mention his estate continues to manage his trademarks and image.

"But, moving past that. You said it yourself – heroes are not born, they are made. You may not be a hero/heroine now. But what more do you need to become one? You stood up to Megamind, and found his hideout, and that was before you had powers," he told her.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Roxanne said, getting up.

"Your roll of toilet paper is almost used up! Just thought you should know!" Bernard called after her.

**XXX**

Minion watched his boss emerge from the apartment building still disguised as the museum man. There was a spring in his step, and a smile on his face, a genuine smile. Despite reservations, Minion smiled himself, glad to see Megamind back to something like what passed for normal. Putting down his book, he started the invisible car, shifted it into gear, and shadowed Megamind for about three blocks before lowering the passenger window.

"I take it things went well, sir?" Minion asked. Megamind did not answer, opening the invisible door after a moment of searching for the handle. It was only when he was in and the car was rolling that he turned the watch off.

"Ah, Minion, everything is going perfectly. We have already confirmed super strength and nigh invulnerability. This second form business is new, but it will help with a secret identity. Yes, quite useful there," Megamind mused, drumming his fingers on the dash.

"Sir? So she agreed to the plan?" Minion pressed. He was not following everything said; as usual, Megamind was forgetting Minion was not privy to things he was not there for. No worries, he would just have to go over the memos later.

"Oh, no. She went to the bathroom for about half an hour, and I realized she might not want to talk anymore. So I gave her the 'time to sink in' speech through the door and left.

"It's all formula, Minion. The hero, given the chance at destiny, hesitates, the awesome power and responsibility giving them pause. True, skipping that step would have been convenient, but I am ready to accommodate tradition," Megamind said, leaning back, looking very satisfied.

Minion rolled his eyes – unsurprisingly, not a thought for her saying "no" and meaning it.

"Besides, we have work to do. I will need your help with the next phase, and Space Mom will not cut it with the Bernard persona. So it's time to whip together another one of these," Megamind said, tapping the holographic watch on his wrist.

**One Week Later:**

Minion walked into the main planning room, scrubbing his head dome clean with a paper towel. His robo-gorilla shoulders slumped at the sight of Megamind staring at the cell phone on a table, his chin propped on the tabletop.

"Sir?" Minion asked.

"Quiet, Minion, I am expecting a call," he answered.

"Sir, it's been a week. It may be time to consider that Miss Ritchie is not going to be your new hero," Minion said.

"Ha, ha, haaaaa. It is to laugh, Minion. Destiny's call is a siren temptress; one might steel one's self for a time, but the call will be answered, and the heading of the vessel changed," Megamind said.

"To… crash on some rocks, sir?" Minion asked.

"Oh, don't try metaphors, you fish you. Any minute now, Roxanne will call. And this time it will not be one of those strange 'tiny talks'. It will be a talk of destiny! And with some tests, I might be able to find out just how retracting hair works," Megamind said, his chin never leaving the table.

Then the phone rang.

Megamind almost knocked over the table grabbing it up.

"Hello, this is, Bernard," he said.

"Hey Bernard. Listen, I've been thinking about that whole hero idea of yours, and I've made a decision," Roxanne spoke over the line.

"Oh, I am so glad! Listen, I already have some great plans for training and testing. Set some stuff up at the abandoned-" Megamind said.

"No," Roxanne interrupted him.

"Oh, you have plans for training? Well, in that case, let's get together and compare notes. I think my proposal is sound, but I'm quite willing to hear any-"

"Bernard, no. I've thought about it, and… well, I just don't think I'm who you think I am," Roxanne said sadly.

"…But, destiny," Megamind said softly.

"Bernard, please. I know I lit a fire in you. And it was so great to hit Megamind one. But being a super hero? I mean, Megamind killed Metro Man, and I'm supposed to beat him?" Roxanne said.

"…Good is not supposed to lie down and quit," Megamind returned.

"No, it's not. But I don't think I'm good enough to put myself in that eternal line of fire. I always believed in people, Bernard. And they let me down by just letting Megamind walk all over them. Letting their city fall apart without a fight. I mean, Metro Man fought for them for years, and died for them! And I can't say if it was worth it," she confessed. Megamind stared at the phone. He had never heard her sound like this. No, that one time, the broadcast before that night at the museum.

"I thought you said I inspired you?" he asked.

"You did, and I wish that was enough for me to do this. I don't blame you for being angry, or anything. I am sorry," she said.

"Wait, I-"

'Beeeeeeeee,' dial tone filled his ear.

Turning the device off, Megamind stood up.

"Sir, do we proceed?" Minion asked.

"No, destiny needs a little push first. Our hero has had her faith in humanity shaken. As villains, it is our duty to de-shake that faith!

"Minion, take notes! It is time for us to create and unleash the Most Epic and Faith-in-Humanity Restoring Operation in the History of all Evil!" Megamind declared, striking a pose.

"…Could you repeat that, sir? The pen is dry," Minion said. Megamind glared at him as he ran the pen over the note pad, leaving only faint lines on the paper.

"We're going to need a lot of kittens," Megamind stated with a swish of his cape.

**XXX**

Roxanne sat on the grassy hilltop, looking over a stretch of the park. Her mother had brought her here as a kid, but she had not been back much these last few years. She regretted that now.

Litter was everywhere; like much of the city, the place was turning into a dump. Stretching her legs, she closed her eyes, enjoying the sun. This was probably a bad idea – even in broad daylight, the park was probably dangerous these days for a woman alone. Though she was better able to defend herself, she supposed.

She was wearing a long sleeve light red shirt with blue jeans. It covered up her new tone fairly well. Some at the office, including Hal, had asked her if she was working out.

It was an odd thing – as depressed as she was at letting Bernard down, she still felt… good. Not as in "happy", but looking at these trails, she wanted to bike down them, or jog. Heck, even run just to see how far she could go before being winded.

She had never let herself get out of shape, but her volleyball days were quite behind her. But now, she felt like she could take on… well, more things than not.

It made how she felt before seem… lazy. After all, even with no social life, she could have been doing other things, something to make her feel better without having to deal with her job or the dynamic ham duo.

Opening her eyes, she pulled her legs up to her chest. She felt… caught.

On the one hand, Bernard believed in whatever was going on with her, and she felt like she had betrayed him. On the other, was the idea of facing Megamind. He had killed Metro Man, and even if she took back the city, Megamind would just keep coming back. Maybe until it was her skeleton clattering to the ground.

And that was not all – in a strange way, that even she felt confused by, Bernard's idea felt like consent. She could always claim she was swept up in this story without asking, that she stayed grudgingly, and that she would not mind getting off the crazy train.

Going after Megamind's lair had been a big step, but she did not think it crossed the line. At least, not crossed it irrevocably. It was more "Scooby-Doo meddling kids" than Metro Man-sized heroics. Sneaking around as opposed to being ready and willing to take evil head-to-head, to take its best shot and give yours back!

Becoming a superhero would mean giving up any pretense of innocence in the whole affair. She would be all in, and it would be because she chose to be.

Roxanne believed in keeping promises. She had resolved to be the best reporter she could be, and she had. Enduring the super awkwardness, and lacking that trying to do her journalist duty instead of spinning things to make herself look better or playing office politics.

So if she was gong to defend this city, she knew it meant she would likely end up doing it for life. And she was not sure she wanted that. Maybe she could get a better job, say, anchor in another city? Or just want to move somewhere else?

She could give it up, be a hero, but this city, these people… She was not sure they were worth it.

She got up and started walking down the hill, no destination in mind.

Were they worth it? She felt horribly guilty even thinking it. But there it was. The people had seemed to just roll over onto their backs for a villain they hated once Metro Man was gone. She pitied them, but it didn't seem like enough. Roxanne Ritchie was not just going to enable them.

Bernard… she had thought his turn around was enough. Maybe it should have been. But getting zapped and transformed in ways she still did not understand – well, it drove home just how real this was. She would not just be strapped to a chair on the sidelines, even if the seat was a death trap. This would be center stage, where it was on her to bring that happy ever after around to home plate each time.

She was so caught up in her thoughts she almost missed the man as she reached the tree line. His back was facing her; he was bald, the head a bit spotted and looked a bit bent, with grit in his black shirt and overalls.

He had a bag hanging from his shoulder.

As he turned, she saw his wizened face in profile, and watched him skewer a candy wrapper with a litter stick.

"Hello," she said. The old man jumped a bit, clearly surprised, and turned his attention to her. He had green eyes, and a tattoo of a blue dolphin on the left side of his forehead.

'Well, look at that,' Roxanne thought, staring at the smiling cartoonish porpoise.

"Didn't see you there, little lady. Lovely day, isn't it?" he asked. With practiced ease, he deposited the wrapper into the bag and looked back to the ground.

"Yes, strange for times like this, huh?" Roxanne said.

"Bah, young people. Always making everything the end of everything. I seen crazy stuff in my life, and tomorrow comes just the same. It might be the worst day of your life, and the weather can be gorgeous. Or the best day, and it's raining pigs and mules," the old man muttered.

"Sorry," Roxanne said, rubbing her arm.

"What are you sorry for? Being young and foolish? Heck, I'd take back some of the foolishness for just ten years knocked off, hehehe," he winked at her.

"Glad to see you out here, lady. Places like this shouldn't be empty, even less than they should be left to go to seed. A dump can be a happy place if there are people there," he said, skewering a plastic bag.

"Are you with the city?" she asked. She looked out over the field; the man's task was monumental. And the rest of the park was pretty much the same. And nothing stopped more trash from coming in.

"I worked grounds here ten years, semi-retired after my old job kicked me out for being old. Then the city fat guy did the same thing."

"So, you're not getting paid?" she asked.

"Not unless I find money on the job!" he laughed.

"Why bother then? Isn't there something you would rather do?" she asked.

"Plenty – I'm old, not a loser! But let me tell you, I tended this park for a decade, and scoff as you may, I was proud to do it. Liked it better than my old job, too. Knew what I did helped to keep something people loved going. Something the city needed, even if half the time they are too stupid to realize what they need.

"So, I see it falling apart and no one stepping up. I realized I could do something, so I have been doing something," he said. Roxanne frowned, looking back over the expanse of trash.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think it's doing much," she told him.

"Nope, but it is something – this is my fifth load today. That much less trash getting in the way of park goers," he said proudly, slapping the sagging sack with his free hand.

"But no one even comes here anymore," she pointed out.

"You came. And I figure helping the naïve-looking young lady on the news have a better day at the park is a good mark. Now, if you will excuse me, Miss Ritchie, the work waits for no man, and my litter spear hungers for conquest! Hehahaha!" the old man laughed, walking off.

She watched him go, leaving a trail of bare green grass through the litter field. It made the filthy parts stand out more. But it let you see how the rest could look, should look.

"Well, alright then," she said, eyes going to the sky.

The trip back to her apartment went quicker than she expected. Kicking off her shoes, she walked into the bathroom. She had cleaned it up of course, but had not gotten anyone to do repairs. She did not feel like answering questions, or find out how many contractors were not operating.

She stripped down carefully, folding each item and placing it on the toilet lid. Bared, she took a look at herself in the mirror. Roxanne Ritchie, intrepid reporter, so-called love interest of Metro Man and Megamind's most frequent kidnapping victim.

But that was already fading, wasn't it? Metro Man was gone, the cycle broken, and the balance of her life, the city's, and heck, even Megamind's, thrown off. Things were changing, had already changed; she needed only to look at herself. Without the clothes, the changes even in this "stage" were very noticeable to her.

She could either try and stay here, run back from what she had set out to do, or embrace the unexpected twists of fate and see what the future would look like from a whole new angle.

She had guessed inhaling was key somehow, maybe not actually vital, but a trigger. Metro Man had told her his heat vision did not require the tap to his face. He had trained a reflex in to avoid accidental discharge. But it reached a point where it was harder to do otherwise.

So even as she inhaled, she expected that was not enough. She remembered the feeling, the burning, boiling in the tub, the sense of being simply overwhelmed, and felt the glow before she saw it lighting her up in the mirror.

Looking down on the sink, Roxanne blew a strand of hair out of her face.

"Well, here we go Roxie," she told her strange reflection.

**XXX**

Megamind stepped back from the apparatus, welding torch in hand, its light catching in his goggles. He turned it off, and then looked over the forming device before him. It was starting to take shape. But he pondered if it was sufficient. The mission was vital; might it be best to go back to the drawing board?

"Sir, please tell me you are not going back to the drawing board," Minion said, running by chasing a puppy chasing a kitten.

"Minion, I think I may have failed to properly account for the kitten-to-puppy ratio," he admitted. Minion came back, holding the two young creatures gently, in different hands.

"Well sir, frankly, things are not easy on my end. These cute critters get along like cats and dogs! And frankly, we are running out of tea for all those grannies, and they are starting to get bored with Bingo."

"If the grannies are getting bored with Bingo, clearly you are doing something wrong," Megamind told him. He stepped up to the frame and pushed against a part, testing its strength.

"And also, the last item on our list. A mildly aged pseudo-father figure with a sour disposition but a heart of gold that can only normally be expressed through plying the saxophone? Sir, I have yet to find one of those."

"Keep looking, that works every time," Megamind instructed.

"Every time? Sir, we have never done this before. How can it work every time if this is the first time?" Minion demanded over the high-pitched barking and hissing.

"Oh, must I explain ever minor detail-" Megamind was cut off as the phone rang.

"It must be Roxanne! Act natural," he told Minion, as he rushed over to its resting spot on the bare table.

"Roxanne?" Megamind asked, turning the phone on.

"Bernard, yes, it's me. Listen, I know what I said-"

"Yes, I realize I may have come on too strong. And I am ready and willing to let this take a natural course. Even if it means… you avert destiny," he said the rehearsed lines in the way he had planned for if this came up before the plan could be set in motion.

"Oi! You there! You're out of coffee," an old granny in an unflattering red-blue polka dot dress yelled, walking up to the table.

"Not now," Megamind hissed. He looked to Minion, but the puppies and kittens seemed to be escaping in greater numbers.

"Bernard?" Roxanne said.

"Just a moment! Go sit back down. Besides, that much coffee cannot be healthy at your age," he told the old woman.

"Healthy! Who are you to talk about healthy? You young people, indoors all the time. Look at you – you're so pale you have an un-tan there!" the granny protested.

"Bernard? Are you visiting your grandmother or something?" Roxanne asked.

"No, I am volunteering at a retirement home. Because I am a good guy, yes, that is all," he spoke into the phone.

"Retirement home?! They told me this was Bingo. That no good son of mine – bet he and his cousins are already riffling through my stuff. I'll show them! This is the arm that made MVP in the senior ladies baseball league!" the old woman exclaimed.

"Okay… you seem to have your hands full. So I'm just going to make this quick. I'm in," Roxanne said.

"Oh, very nice. Where?" Megamind said, trying to tune out the ranting old woman.

"What?"

"Where are you in?" he asked.

"…No. I'm in, your plan," Roxanne said.

"Impossible! It's not even done!" Megamind exclaimed, looking to the incomplete device.

"Okay, Bernard, I am saying yes to your idea. I am going to step up and be the one to stand up to Megamind," she told him.

"Really?! Well, that is excellent. Alright, tomorrow I will be over with a friend, and we can start going over training. You might want to go to bed early, this is going to be intense!" he said, before hanging up.

"HAHAHAHA!" he laughed evilly, jumping to his feet and doing a little jig.

"We're back in business, Minion! Get the puppies and kittens to good homes, call off the brain bots' search, and release the grannies back into the wild!" he ordered.

"Yeah, what about the coffee?" the escaped granny demanded. With a sigh, Megamind reached into his tool belt and pulled out a can of knockout spray.

"How about a complimentary perfume sample, Mrs. Haig?" he asked, shaking the can.

"It had better not be some fruity junk!" she declared.

* * *

**AN:**

Well that factory scene hung me up for quite awhile. I eventually just powered through deciding it was getting ridiculous.

Well now, Roxanne has the power! And we have seen her struggle with the responsibility some. And so,me lighthearted humor too.

So hope it was enjoyable and I'll see you in chapter three whenever that comes out.

Long day's pleasant knights to you.


End file.
